Category: Humor

My First Girlfriend

| Humor, Prose, Publius

by Publius The other day, all the teachers had to put security checks on our payroll accounts. So there’s ten questions. Your mother’s maiden name. Your high school. Like that. Then there’s, “What was your first girlfriend’s name?” Three of us are doing it together, so North says, “Sally.” And Art says, “My first girlfriend …

Where White People Come From

| Humor, Prose, Publius

by Publius My student teacher is answering questions, explaining where his people come from. “I’m 100% European,” he says. A young lady who’s black says, “You come from England or some such?” “Oh, no, I mean you have to go back generations …”. “Oh, I get it,” she says. “You mean your family comes from …

Run Did I

| Humor, Prose, Publius

by Publius In the parking lot, maybe a half-hour before first period, just as I pull-up I see our crazed educational consultant pull-up in the parking lot. She has this way of hovering around the door, and, without so much as a “Good Morning”, just goes some onerous task she wants the teacher to complete. …

A Parable about Publishing

| Humor, Michael Simms, Prose

Adapted by Michael Simms A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He yelled: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am!” The woman below replied: “You are …

The Millardians

| Humor, Prose, Publius

by Publius It’s Senior Prank Season. This year’s Best In Show goes to the kid who snuck out of class, and put lubricated condoms on each of the outer third floor doorknobs. I don’t approve of this, which is not the same as saying that it doesn’t garner a certain perverse respect on my part. …

I scorn to change my state with kings

| Humor, Prose, Publius

by Publius There’s an announcement, an “emergency faculty meeting” immediately after school. On the way, North mumbles something like, “Somebody better be having sex with a student, because I was planning a barbeque.” It turns out that we, the district, need to spend half a million dollars by Friday. Someone downtown didn’t read the bit …

Bullet-Points

| Humor, Prose, Publius

by Publius We had “an emergency faculty meeting”. So I took these notes. “– The state test is coming up. Get worried. — Teach the test and nothing else. — We need everyone to pass the state test. So don’t give it to any kids who won’t pass. — According to a new state regulation, …

Perky

| Humor, Prose, Publius

by Publius My student teacher gets back from a meeting at his university. So I say to him, “I see other teachers in this building teach all the time. So I know what I look like compared to Mr. North, say, or this one and that. But I have no idea how I compare to …