I have three bottles of water, some canned goods, a propane stove. I have a shovel, blueprints, and a big enough backyard. I still don’t own a pistol. Because I’ve seen The Twilight Zone, I’ve several spare pairs of glasses. Because I may have to repopulate the planet, I might start looking for a mate. Maybe I’ll ask someone out on a date. How’s that for a pick-up line? Maybe not tonight. I should buy some survivalist literature. I should get a can opener, a pocketknife, another propane tank, another fedora. I could make a checklist. I shouldn’t procrastinate. Some scholars think it took Noah 120 years to construct the ark; others have recalculated, say it was half that. Tomorrow maybe I’ll buy cement blocks and concrete. The cupcakes I bought won’t last till the apocalypse, but that’s okay: I have plenty of time, and they were delicious.